So, I was thinking about carbon offsets today. You know, carbon offsets. Where someone like a preachy celebrity or Al Gore who chides other people for causing global warming can't be bothered to reduce their energy usage or take the bus or any of the other crap they tell people to do, so they pay someone else to reduce their own "carbon footprint" so that they can keep on producing lots and lots of CO2. Sort of like paying someone else to do your homework for you in college.
Anyway, thinking about that gave me a great idea. Today I invented a new dieting method: calorie offsets. Now I can eat whatever the heck I want whenever the heck I want to, and I can just pay someone else to eat less for me!
Oooh, better yet... there's plenty of people going hungry in the world already. So I can just use their calories without even having to pay them a dime. I ought to be back to my college weight in no time!
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3 comments:
Okay. Where do I sign up?
Kent Brockman: And I for one welcome our new climate overlords.
By the way, that's how I view stuff like the Wii Virtual Console. It's like a piracy offset!
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